Walmart Tantrums

I used to be one of those people who would see a kid throwing a fit in a store and think to myself "My kid would never behave like that! It all comes from the parent...". That, of course, was before I had a kid. I've now learned that sometimes, despite your best parenting efforts, kids throw tantrums. Now, I'm still a firm believer that hitting your kid does not teach them not to hit, and screaming at them does not stop them from screaming. Sometimes a child's bad behaviors are learned from their parent(s). But sometimes it's not the parent's fault.

Today after playgroup, Lexi was hungry and I needed to get some things from the store, so I decided we would go to Walmart where I could get my things and Lexi could get popcorn chicken from the deli, which she loves. The entire car trip there, I was telling and signing to her that we were going to the store and she was going to eat. When she saw we were at Walmart, she knew to expect that the food I had been promising would be her beloved popcorn chicken. But of course, for the first time ever, they were out of popcorn chicken. Cue tantrum. It was completely understandable, of course. She was hungry, I had promised food, we went to the deli counter, but then nothing was delivered. We can get a lot of communication done through speech and sign, but because of her disability we're not to the point where I can clearly explain to her why she is not getting food.

So instead I had to speed through Walmart as quickly as possible, all the while trying to explain as calmly as I could to Lexi what had happened and how we would fix the problem. This did not stop the barrage of judgemental glares from nearly everyone in the store. Apparently Utah is filled with only perfect non-disabled children, and Lexi and I are simply too imperfect for sympathy. While in line at the in-store McDonalds (the best solution I could figure out with a screaming kid distracting me), one mother was even bold/rude/condescending enough to loudly say to her own, quiet toddler "That little girl is crying, isn't she? You should tell her to stop because she's being loud, shouldn't you honey?", as if I wouldn't get what she was doing. I would love for her to walk a day in my shoes and see if she could do any better.

Sometimes I wonder if this is why Heavenly Father gave me a kid with both a disability and a difficult personality, to teach me not to judge others. I hope everyone can think twice before they glare self-righteously at someone, because you never know the back story. Before, I would have thought badly about a mom if I saw her give her toddler a candy bar at the checkout simply because the kid asked. However, Lexi now gets almost anything she wants if she'll say "please" (sounds like "ee") or "more", simply because it's taken sooooooooo long and soooooooo much work and prayers to get her there, and we really need to reward her speaking so she'll actually do it. I guess that's why we're supposed to leave the judging for the big guy upstairs, because he's the only one who know the WHOLE story...