I just wanted to thank everyone who came to Lexie's birthday party for making it such a fun event. You may or may not know this, but I hate having birthday parties. I stopped when I was about 11-12. I just stress out about everything and it's no fun, hense why Lexie hasn't had one until now. But thanks to everyone, it was great and stress-free (once everyone arrived. I wouldn't be me if I didn't stress about timing when to cut the cucumber for the veggie tray just right), even with so many little ones running around my house! The cats probably thought we were trying to torture them. Little Low-key Lexie seemed both thrilled and overwhelmed to have so many friends around, it was a great experience for her to help her shake up her comfort bubble a little. We're so grateful to have such awesome friends and family. You all rock!
Lexie's birthday is today! Since she's started opening doors, Lexie now wakes up in the morning sometime between 6:30-7am, comes in our room, walks over to Wayne's side of the bed, he lifts her up, I turn on the tv, and she sits inbetween us and watches Disney Channel and snuggles with us for a few minutes while we wake up. But today, apparently, was a new day. A Big Girl day. We heard her open her door, followed by the usual pitter patter of little feet coming down the hall. But instead of coming straight in, she decided to stop and play with something in the hall for a few minutes. Then, when she did come in, she did not go over to Wayne. Instead, she headed over to the dresser, found a small stack of dvd's on top, perused, picked the one she wanted, reached up and pressed the "open" button on the dvd player, put in her selection, then closed it. She then pressed the power button on the tv, and waited for her movie to start, not once looking back for any parental involvement. Of course, I still had to change the tv to "video" mode with the remote, but other than that she had everything under control. That's right, 3-year olds are Big Girls.
It's funny how sometimes you'll get bombarded by a slew of little things to just totally bum you out, like a line of little gray clouds that decide to come over and float above your head for a bit. I was having a perfectly nice morning, until I read Lexie's daily note from her teacher when she got home. Lexie is behind where she should be in communication progress and has a lot of work to do. Well, this is of course not at all news, but every time it's just such a bummer to hear. I'm getting so tired of hearing from every therapist at every appointment how far behind Lexie is. I've been working so hard with her for over a year, and she's just barely starting to do the things she should have started 4 months in. I feel like her therapists must think I'm lying when I tell them that I do everything they tell me to, that we work on communication every day and practice the techniques they're showing me all the time. I mean, why else would she not be progressing? This is just one of those times when I'd love for Heavenly Father to give me just a little window into the future, show me Lexie somewhere down the line when all this hard work pays off and she's no longer "behind". All I'd need to see is one "Lexie is doing great!" report, and it'd have a finish line to reach for at this moment.
So I'm already totally bummed out by this little gray cloud, when #2 comes rolling in. I get an email from my agent calling for anyone interested in being an extra for High School Musical 3. Now, this really shouldn't be that big a deal, especially in the grand scheme of things. But I was supposed to audition for a couple of actual roles on this film several months back. In fact, the casting director had specifically asked for me, which is cool. Unfortunately, Nameless Baby had made his unexpected arrival in the soon-to-be-world, and pregnant women can not pass for highschool students. Well, at least not in a Disney film. So, the extra call just reminded me of another disappointment in my life. Double bummer.
So I decide to read a friend's blog to cheer me up, because she's a good writer and always enjoyable. But today she shared with the world a clever little "kids say the darnest things" moment she had with her kids. Which of course reminded me once again that Lexie cannot say such clever little things because right now the only thing she can consistantly say is "Meow", and even that in dwindling and becoming less of a word as she gets lazy and the novelty of talking wears off... Triple bummer.
Oh, and it snowed! On May 1st! I mean, come on! I'm usually a big enviromentalist, but even I'm starting to doubt this whole Global Warming thing. Just for those stupid flakes of snow, I'm not recyling a darn thing today. I was going to save and reuse the 2 plastic Walmart shopping bags I got today, but now I'm going to go throw them straight into the trash... and maybe eat some icecream or something...
Yesterday when Lexie got home, she cried when she had to get off the van. I thought she'd be excited to see Mommy, but nope, all she did was cry and reach out for the van as it pulled away, signing "friends!". I guess I won't be offended and just be happy that she had a good time.
Today when I put her in the van, one of the straps on her carseat was stuck on something, so it took me a few extra minutes to get her in. She was grinning from ear to ear the entire time, and after a while she got impatient with how long I was taking and started gently pushing me away, big smile on her face. When I was done, I waved and said "Bye bye, Lexie!". She happily waved back, and out I went. So, I guess the van is a big hit.
Today Lexie rode to school on the van. Was she nervous? No, she had no idea what was going on before this morning. Was I nervous? Heck yeah! I barely got any sleep last night. I thought I was totally cool with it, until right before we went to bed, when for some reason my mind started going to all those 'worst case' scenerios. Once that started, my mind couldn't stop. I was up half the night imagining her the next morning happily getting on the van, then totally freaking out when they pulled away from our house without mommy, and then she would start crying and hyperventilating and not be able to calm down without a binky (which is the only thing that brings her back to reality on the rare occation she has a total meltdown), but binkies aren't allowed at preschool, so she'd have to keep freaking out until they would eventually call me and have me come pick her up...
Anyway, apparently my sleepless night was for nothing. Wayne stayed home long enough to see her off, and I think she dug having daddy around for a few extra minutes. She got right on the van, and luckily there were already a few "friends" there already, which she loved. And then they pulled away. I watched the tinted windows to see if she was flailing around as they drove off, but I saw nothing. I called the school later and talked to her teacher, and she said that although she didn't know how she was on the van, she arrived at school happy and without any signs of a meltdown, so all must have gone well. I'll find out more from the driver when she gets home later today, I'm sure.
Above are some pics of her waiting for the van and then getting in, as well as some with her wearing her new new backpack, which I got yesterday. The little one she brought to school yesterday is too small for the paperwork she needs to bring home to us each day, so she has to have a fullsized one. It's hilarious because the bag is nearly as big as she is, but somehow she can keep it on her back.
First note: Lexie's teacher spelled her name with an "ie" instead of just an "i", and I think it looks way cuter. We're going to have to do it that way from now on...
This morning we got up and while we got ready we watched the "School" Signing Time dvd. So when it was time to go and I told Lexie she was going to "School", she was so excited! When we got there, she got to put her coat and her backpack on her very own hook, labelled with her name and everything! Very grown up... Basically I just dropped her off and got the heck out of there, because her teacher said that's the best way to avoid tears, and it worked like a charm. When I picked her up, her teacher said she went straight into playing and didn't look back. At the end of the day, she seemed a little worn out, I think it was a whole lot of "new", but she still seemed to like school. In fact, she kept signing "school" over and over as I tried to usher her out the door. Tomorrow she will take the van to school instead of me driving her. This will be nice for me, as they'll be picking her up at 8:20 and dropping her off a little before noon. I think she'll really like driving with all the kids as well.
Sorry this post is so clunky, I ran a bunch of errands while she was at school, too many in fact, and now my poor body is completely wiped out, and it feels like it's taking my mind with it...
